then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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