in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
