I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
