everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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