Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize