he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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