He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
