So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
