Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
