Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's always time for handjobs
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
