if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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