Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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