either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
