Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
