i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
