Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
