She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
