1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Drunk is a universal language darling
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