You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
