My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
