he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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