idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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