similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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