I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
