I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Im part way to drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
