somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
