I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
