I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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