Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
