Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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