we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's like God shit irony all over that family
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
