So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize