Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
