he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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