I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
