its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i out mim tonsoeep
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