Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
