dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
