yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize