I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
