VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
