So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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