You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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