is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
