if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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