He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
