Please, let me fuck your mom
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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