My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
