giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
