i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
