she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize