she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
