i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
