good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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