I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
