Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
