He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
